


Poisoning Pigeons in the Park

by Meduseld



Category: DCU, DCU (Comics)
Genre: Dorks in Love, Justice League typical shenanigans, M/M, Missions, Misuse of Tom Lehrer, Not very hidden Little Shop of Horrors reference, Well they're getting there
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-19
Updated: 2017-06-19
Packaged: 2018-11-16 02:43:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11244696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Meduseld/pseuds/Meduseld
Summary: "Have I entered an alternate universe or did you really just crack a smile for me?"





	Poisoning Pigeons in the Park

It’s bad. It’s very, very bad and Hal knows bad.  

Likethe time he got trapped by a sentient, gigantic, carnivorous plant on Twui, which sounds like a much nicer place to be right about now. Instead he’s with Batman, trying to ward off literal demons summoned into the heart of Dallas.  

Superman and Wonder Woman are supposed to be chasing down the warlock responsible, but with the sickly blood colored light spilling with increasing urgency from a portal that demons are _still_ fucking spewing from _goddamn_ , Hal’s not exactly optimistic.

“Two o’clock!” Batman growls and Hal pivots blasting at a _thing_ which looks like a faceless cat-goat. “On the plus side, at least you won’t distract the mourners at my funeral with your scowly black, uh, _everything_.” He says as he shoots up a fence, before collapsing it on the creatures on the other side.

“You honestly think I’d go to your funeral?” Batman growls as they spin, Hal containing the other side while Batman aims for stragglers. “You wound me, Bats”. Hal turns and smirks, blasting something that looks like a poodle that fell into a vat of Miracle-Gro and then into a blender over Batman’s shoulder. “I had that”

“I know baby, I’m just trying to impress you” Batman flings a batarang that swoops dangerously close to Hal’s face “Try harder”

“Is that an invitation?” Batman smirks. It’s the most he’s ever gotten out him, so Hal will take it. Until an hour later, when the demons are gone, because the portal has reversed itself to suck them back in. And everything else around them.

Hal is focused on trying to keep it sealed with a construct, while Batman tries to get someone on the coms. Under his breath, Hal’s singing.

It’s an old habit, that’s followed him from baseball diamonds in middle school to combat jets in the Air Force. It helps him focus. _We will all go together when we go, all suffused in an incandescent glow_. It takes him a minute to realize his voice isn’t alone. _No one will have the endurance, to collect on his insurance, Lloyd’s of London will be loaded when they go!_

He shifts to look and Bruce is actually smiling. “Have I entered an alternate universe or did you really just crack a smile for me?” His smile actually _widens._ “For Tom Lehrer”

“Oh, that is _it_ Spooky. If we live through this I’m taking you on a date” “Now _that’s_ a joke”.

Then the portal’s gone and Hal’s arm drops like a lead weight. He actually punches his own hip and swears; Batman smirks.

“So, seriously, Saturday?”

**Author's Note:**

> [The song they sing](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=frAEmhqdLFs). My apologies to Tom Lehrer.


End file.
